So I meet them at church. Everyone was dressed in their Sunday best... sort of. Actually, it was kind of nice to see all different kinds of people. I was wearing shorts and flip flops and so were some other people. Not the people up front, but okay. No one looked at me strange because of what I was wearing. That was different. I'm impressed.
Anyway, I get in there and everyone is shaking hands and smiling and saying Churchy things. I can take about five minutes of "I haven't seen you since you were fifteen!" and "Taking in the sinful life are we?" before it is time to get some space. Bathroom. The bathroom will give me space.
I look around the "Narthex" (whatever THAT is) dedicated to someone in 1948 and did not see any bathrooms. Uh... how do I get out of here? Surely this place has indoor plumbing. No way am I going to an outhouse. It is embarrassing to have to ask to go to the bathroom, am I five? So I head in one direction of the "Narthex" through the sea of people and end up finally concluding that it is in the other direction. Great. Not impressed.
I finally get to the other side and there they inside! Awesome. There aren't obvious signs. Even Wal-mart has obvious signs as to the location of bathrooms. So I go in and want to immediately go out. Truck stops and Waffle Houses have nicer bathrooms. I thought "Cleanliness was next to Godliness"? Not for these people. I will need to get baptized just to get the ickiness off me from the bathroom. Not impressed.
Now I'm in there and the dude talked to me. I understand being friendly, but not in the bathroom. He stood there welcoming me to the church and inviting me to the next HULPTC meeting all while I was trying to do my business. If I knew what HULPTC was, I would have agreed to go just to get a moment of pee-ce (oh yeah). Seriously? Boundaries my friend, boundaries.
It was a whole lot of stress just getting to the bathroom. By then, I was hoping for a short church service. I was stressed out!
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